Rules to eat by, part 1

1. Anything made from scratch and consumed in moderation can't be bad for you.

2. Real food doesn't have labels.

3. Salad dressing should ALWAYS be made from scratch.

4. Don't trust anyone who claims they don't like cheesy grits.

7. There is no such thing as too much balsamic vinegar.

8. Great wine can be had for less than $20, but a good bottle of Amarone is worth it.

9. Never eat hamburger (or any ground beef) that you don't know to have been grass-fed and ground by the butcher (or the restaurant's butcher).

10. Whole-wheat pasta is unnatural.

11. God intended for us to eat fish. In sashimi form.

12. Vodka is seldom a good idea.

13. Good cheese, olives, marcona almonds, and wine is a complete and balanced meal.

14. Easter bread should only be eaten at Easter, anise cookies at Christmas and so on; otherwise, they lose their special joy.

15. Salt-roasting is the only way to cook turkey.

16. Soft-shell crab is God's way of rewarding us for the effort of eating crab legs the rest of the year.

17. The edges of brownies are the best part.

18. When in Colorado, you ALWAYS want it smothered in green chili. It doesn't matter what "it" is.

19. There are a lot of ways to make good coffee and espresso, but none of them involve a drip coffee maker or, even worse, a single-cup coffee maker.

20. You don't need an excuse to have a glass of Champagne.

21. The only acceptable "alternative" sweeteners are honey and maple syrup. Everything else is disgusting. If you shouldn't be adding sugar, don't add anything at all. 

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